More Than a Broken Vow

Post 4 of 8
More Than a Broken Vow
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Many couples, after all the years of trying to make it work, eventually find themselves at the end of the line.   The marriage counselling and other therapies failed to make the marriage work.  At some point, one or both persons in the marriage decide to cut all strings that connected them as husband and wife.

While separation or divorce may be the only way to secure freedom from an unhappy marriage, the effects of dissolving a partnership that was supposed to last for eternity go beyond the bickering parties.  Surely, when a marriage fails, the hurt and pain also hit even those who are not supposed to be involved – the children.

Your children may make do with fewer toys to play with.  They can also learn to live in a simple house and eat simple food.  Even if they enviously talk about their peers’ palatial homes in the suburbs ,  they would rather live in a hole – as long as you are there.  Sadly, the children often become part of “collateral damage” when a war breaks out between husband and wife.  In the heat of marital fights, it is often forgotten that children are can also get hurt.

No child can easily get over the fact that the very epitome of unity as symbolized by their father and mother can actually crumble before their very eyes.  The same persons who preached about forgiveness and second chances are the same people who they see constantly picking on each other’s blunders and flaws.

Needless to say, not all children can handle the stress and anxiety brought about by constant parental quarrel.  The inner lives of children also crumble when they see that their parents are already headed to “Splitsville.”

According to studies on psychological problems among children, stress and anxiety brought about by traumatic domestic problems can greatly affect the normal flow of activities and behavioural patterns of young children.  The more the children are exposed to these horrendous scenarios, the greater the possibility for stress and anxiety to occur.  Child psychologists strongly warn parents from showing any form of violence in front of their children.

Domestic violence always causes a negative impact on children, making them suffer from intense episodes of fear and anxiety.  If left unattended, the repercussions of these traumatic experiences will eventually manifest as aggressive behaviour and non-compliance to family authority.

Studies also pointed out that, like in the case of school bullies, children are not that capable of handling fear and anxiety brought by constant family bickering so they vent out their frustrations by intimidating other children.  This is their way of coping with internal stress, understanding that they can’t easily “dish out” their own true feelings to their parents.

In addition, experts say that children don’t normally manifest this aggressive behaviour in the early stages of their life.  However, if no therapy is undertaken, these potentially harmful tendencies that appear during childhood may be carried out to their adulthood.  Repressed emotions may eventually spill out as aggressive behaviour if these are not addressed properly by trained counsellors.  Fear and anxiety brought about by constant father-mother bickering can also have adverse effects on the physical growth of children.

Indeed, children must live in a loving environment.  No matter the situation or how big the problem is, they must be protected from any type violence.  It’s their right.  It is the parent’s responsibility.  It is normal for a family to experience squabbles and occasional emotional crisis.

It is good to remember that children can do away with broken toys but having a broken family may just be too hard for them.

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This article was written by Reasolution